American Pie: The Reunion

So, the cast of American Pie made it to 30-something without being locked-up for sexual harassment or falling victim to a nasty STI. And that’s just their real life characters. To celebrate, they’re lobbying once more for a high school reunion that promises to be anything but Pimms and Spice Girls songs. Okay, so there’s one Spice Girls song – because that’s what we all listened to in the 90s, right?

Nothing will have the same impact as THAT pie incident, but that doesn’t stop the makers of American Pie: Reunion from trying. We actually see genitals…

What gives this slice of American Pie more bite is the fact that it has rounded up all of the original cast – yep, Tara Reid and everything. It was arguably the original members that made the first American Pie such a hoot; Stifler’s sizzling mom, who inspired the ‘MILF’ craze (Ask your mum. Actually, don’t); Michelle and the misadventures of band camp; gorgeous yet gormless Nadia; and of course, Jim’s shameless dad, the only one to appear in all of the dubious spin-off sequels. Well, he was hardly going to say no.

How big?

A twist in the tale there ain’t. The story plods along; a satisfyingly predictable sequence of unfortunate events leading up to the grand and gooey finale of the anticipated high school reunion. Along the way, we’re informed of how the boys (now men) Chris, Finch, Stifler, Kevin and Jim had their young aspirations of entering a life of sex on tap smeared with the reality of baby burping and marital monotony.

Old flames are fanned, temptations are dangled and the reality of responsibility poses questions to the boys (sorry, men) who are now old enough to know better. In a worrying development, the only characters who really met their goals are the ones that never really grew up. Let that be a lesson to us all.

Nothing has or will have the same impact as THAT pie incident from the first film, but that doesn’t stop the makers of American Pie: Reunion from trying. We actually see genitals, but like the cast, we’ve all grown up – our main concern is wondering if they’ll properly sterilise that pan lid once it’s been prized from Jim’s penis.

‘Lads Gone Wild’ movies may have taken a darker turn of late (à la The Hangover, Project X) but American Pie reminds us that the gross-out comedy can still be merry, not morbid. Neneath the lube-filled socks, misused flutes and pan-fried penises, American Pie: Reunion is a warped love story, coated in varying degrees of mush. The cast might be getting old, but in its over-gloopy conclusion, love is forever young. Bleurgh.

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